a poem by concerned american

please add this sad current Iraq’s national anthem under occupation to your collection of
Poems. I gave them a national anthem, since we are occupying, we owe them this. 
concerned american


O Ahmed good thing that you cant see the dawn of ear, intestines of your pears

Our compassion taught us to be free, now you are free of you sight and family

Your puss infested blind eyes are a gift of American judo-christens neo-cons leading cheers

When rockets laden with depleted uranium, and bombs with phosphors busting in the air

Gave proof thro the night, our flag has to be here, splattered with your grand mothers brain and her hair

O’er the green zone we watched shock and awe so gallantly you people die for freedom screaming

O Ahmed, does those blood socked head scarves of your little sisters are still there with the brain and hair

O’er the land of the dead, dying, crying, are you free in the home of the enslave?

by: concerned american
concerned american

Thank you for your poignant poem, even though all the poems in my blog are my own, but I will certainly add yours


The Question of Suffering


This is an excerpt from a dialogue (through exchange of emails) written to my friend Sam, when he asked me about suffering



The Question of Suffering


How could an Intelligent Being allow such cruelty?

A most valid, most important, and most relevant question.


To start with, I am afraid that by talking about this topic, it would be very difficult to be objective. We won’t be able to discuss it from a purely scientific perception.

We can’t -even if we wanted to- be objective; as this issue entails feelings, emotions, philosophy, personal experience. Therefore I find that –here- I can’t be anything other than subjective; reflecting on my own personal life and my personal experiences.


The most negative occurrences in the life of a human being can be summarized as such: physical pain, emotional pain (sorrow), and fear.


Contemplating on my own life and like every one on the planet I’ve experienced all; but with such intensity that some times it felt and feels almost unbearable.

As little girl I survived the horrors of war, I watched my childhood being stolen away from me. I witnessed the destruction of a people. I experienced the loss of every thing I loved; including my home, my garden, my relatives, my friends, my village, my identity, even my much-loved books and school bag.


I had to rely on UN food and cloths parcels in order to survive.

I witnessed fighter planes flying so low in the sky -that as a child you thought they’re about to fall onto your head- while bombing villages killing innocent women and children.


At such a tender age, I came face to face with human cruelty and brutality and witnessed their ability to inflect so much pain, suffering, and humiliation upon its own kind.


 I left home as a refugee with absolutely nothing except the two dresses and a jumper that my mum had forced me to put on in the burning heat of Middle Eastern summer.

 She could carry nothing as her youngest baby was only three months old; she had to look after him and his four other sisters; the eldest was only seven years old. For six days we were hiding in a tomb in one of the graveyards in a neighbouring village.

 I lived through a kind of fear that had left its permanent mark on me. Until this very day I still jump when I hear a loud noise; I still tremble when I hear the roar of an airplane.


 My family of seven and I had lived for some years of our life sharing one room, living with another family of twelve (in Jordan ), then sharing with a different family of ten (in Libya ).

At a very young age, I’ve experienced pain, fear, and sorrow that many people don’t experience in a lifetime.

I agonized as my roots were uprooted time and time again; so much so that at the age of seventeen I decided to live an isolated life refusing to talk to anyone, by doing so I was trying to protect my sanity.

 My experiences at the time had taught me that I should never allow my self to make friends or love any one; as every one I loved I ended up loosing or getting separated away from.


As a young mother I was severely ill that I thought I was dying, I asked the doctors to allow me to leave the hospital for few hours because I wanted to see “Beauty and the Beast” movie with my children before it was too late; as I didn’t think I’d make it to watch anything else with them let alone watch them grow.

The pain that I went through at the time was so horrendous that it would keep me awake all day and night; they had to use powerful sedatives to put asleep.  

I prayed that no one ever may go through what I’ve been going through.

For four years I was bed ridden, fighting what seemed to be an endless battle with ruthless pain; at some point I couldn’t even hold a cup of tea in my hand let alone making one.

I couldn’t even drive; Khaled used to put me in the car and try to take me out by driving around for a little while just to lift my spirit up. At the end of each trip I’d come home shattered and so exhausted that I would decide I would never leave the house again.

I would read a paragraph over and over and over again without being able to understand a thing. People would be surrounding me chatting trying to cheer me up, yet I wasn’t even able to comprehend what they were saying.

I sat in front of the consultant with tears flooding into my eyes as he told me that this is it for me. Announcing a life-sentence of pain and agony, and advising me that I should stop hoping to become better or be cured; rather I should be looking for ways of coping with my new life-imprisonment.

I stared at him while he was confirming the end of my life -as I knew it- in horror and disbelief, refusing to believe anything he said as my thoughts echoed “who do you think you are? You are not God to be telling me this nonsense”


The last episode of my extraordinary -yet very ordinary- life was the loss of my dearest, my greatest, my one and only love.

That episode you and other friends have been eyewitnesses to.

From this summarized narrative of my life you could vividly see that I’ve almost hit rock-bottom of every negative experience that any human can go through:

Loss of physical health and living with excruciating pain

Loss of all material positions even my very own identity

Loss of mental and intellectual capacities

Loss of the love of my life


By going into so much detail about my life I was eager to emphasize the reality that through my experiences I have a reasonable idea about pain and what it means to suffer.


Now then, through all what I’ve been through; One Thing and one thing only kept me going, helped me, held me, and carried me through; and that is my Faith.


  I could never reconcile my agonized painful existence with futility and lack of purpose.


 My logic and my feelings lead me to conclude that if everything came from nothing, if there was no purpose in the existence of the universe, if there is no purpose in the existence of life; then, it’s more reasonable to think that there is no purpose in a life full of agony such as mine, there is no point in living on to suffer more. I.e. there is no purpose in life. period.

 The only thing that could ever console and comfort this troubled soul of mine was this faith, this insight and intuition that this can’t all be in vain.

And like a tender mother’s hand stroking her child

Like a soft warm blanket in a cold winter night

Like gentle rain drops drizzling over a parched piece of land

Like a rainbow flowing piercing through thick dark clouds

I feel God’s loving hand


Then this sweet… sweet comfort that overwhelms you, embraces you as you humbly say:

 Here I am God… exhausted… come to my aid

Here I am God… in much anguish… relieve me… ease my pain

Here I am God… full of sorrow… soothe my hurt

Here I am God… lonely… be my friend and companion.

Here I am God… tiered… help me…hold me… heal me

Here I am God… lost… guide me… show me the way

That distressed soul… that troubled heart would be magically transformed…

Calm would descend… tranquillity and serenity would prevail… joy would overwhelm… and sweet… sweet comfort would embrace you.

You feel helped… held… healed… and carried through.

Even if the pain is still there!


 There are no words in any human dictionary or vocabulary that could come near into describing that feeling, all we can do is give analogies.

Never the real feelings


Then with time; and in retrospect the wisdom of what you’ve been through will become more apparent.

Like pieces of a jigsaw your life would start making sense; some of the pieces might be very murky and horrible, others might be bright and colourful, each piece alone does not make any sense; yet as they assemble together a beautiful pattern emerges, an amazing picture materializes.

Such was my life.

Such is life


The Question of Suffering – part 2: poems

Hidden dimensions


My first son Hassan

Was born on April the 9th


You might think

So what… why are you saying it

With such a gloomy tune

What is wrong with 9th of April?


You have to be a Palestinian

To understand

For on the 9th of April 1948

The massacre of Deir Yassin

Took place

Where every man women and child

Of that peaceful farming village

Was killed in cold blood

No one survived

Except those

Who pretended to be dead


As we celebrate the birth of a new born

With joy

We mourn and grief

Lost loved ones


In our midst

Nothing comes insular

Nothing is disjointed

No single colours


The fabric of our lives

Makes the most amazing tapestry


If you hold it backwards

Looking at the wrong side

You’ll see a mirror image

Of shades of a blurred picture

With loops… knots and fraying thread

If you turn it over

It looks much neater

But still you can’t actually see

The full picture

Only colours and shadows


But hey… take a little time

And walk backwards

Further back

Look at the tapestry

From a distance


You will be amazed

With its outstanding beauty

All these murky shades

That didn’t make sense to you

Even disturbed you

When you were near


From far

These dark shadows

Are precisely what makes this piece

So unique

So spectacular


These unfathomable hues

Is what give our life portrait

Its depth

And hidden dimensions


Since that day of 1948

Many… many babies were born

On April the 9th


Our joys are always stained

With hints of sorrow


Our sadness is always coloured

With hues of hope


Without which

The tapestry of our lives

Will never be complete

Won’t be as rich

Or as beautiful


Don’t waist much time

Staring at the wrong side with fury

Turn it over… walk further back… and feel the glory




Bad things! Good things!



You should be more assertive

You should have more confidence

In your skills

And your strengths


People say


But I am truly aware

Of my abilities

I can surely judge

What I can or can’t do


I am also aware

Of my flaws

And believe you me

They are so… so many


But I am not ashamed

Of my weaknesses

Despite their vastness

They are there

For a reason


They keep me in my place

So I don’t grow bigger

Than my own shoes


I love my weaknesses

I love my defects


Thank you God

For all my imperfections


Thank you for my fears


For without them

I could live my entire days

Without ever appreciating

How safe my life is



Thank you for my worries


For without them I can never

Fully enjoy peace of mind

And tranquillity


Thank you for my pain


For without it

I can only imagine

What others go through


Thank you for my grief


For without it

I cannot sincerely feel

 The heartache of others

How else can I ever

Learn genuine empathy?




Bliss and beyond


A state of delight

Blissful pleasure



Enchantment and joy


If people knew how it feels

They would’ve fought for it

With arms and teeth


No privilege

No adversity


No gain

No loss


No health

No pain


No achievement

No catastrophe


No triumph

No defeat


Can Annihilate

Or nullify



Passionately… with a heartfelt desire


 I want to share






This love I have for you


Holds me, lifts me, carries me through


When all is dark


When pain is deep


When love is scarce


When friends are few


This love I have for you


Holds me, lifts me, carries me through





Is it really cruel?


People say

What happened to you

Is so cruel… so unfair

To have to lose khaled

 In such an awful way

When you are so much in love


I say it is very painful

But not at all cruel

Death is nothing

But a gate way

Everything dies

Everyone dies

Why should I

Be the exception?


His journey ended before mine

That’s all

And soon I’ll follow


It’s only a matter of time

Before we are together again

We come to life

 Only for a while


Also… the law goes

The higher you fly up

The greater is your fall


The law goes

The more intensely you enjoy your love

The more painful is your sorrow

This only fair

For some live and die

Without experiencing real love

And I’ve experienced all

It’s not cruel to give something back


And to feel more pain

Is not unfair



  With You I am OK


Dear Most Compassionate

Show me the truth

As true

And help me follow


Show me falsehood

As false

And help me avoid


Help me… say the truth

Help me… do the truth

Help me… think the truth

Help me… feel the truth


Dear Most Kind

I am lost

Without your guidance



Without your support



Without your company


Dare I run away from You

Except towards You


Is there a place to hide from You

Except under your wings


The world has wronged me

Forsaken neglected and ignored

Held me responsible as the victim

Declared me guilty while innocent

Put me on trial although oppressed

Imprisoned me for being abused


An abandoned child

Blamed for… being…


But if You are pleased with me

I can take it all

Nothing else matters




The rescue


Deep… deep inside…

In the land of sorrow… where I reside

Where only pain reigns

While… passion is resistance

Love grows rebellious

And hope is defiant


Grief runs deep

Cutting through hills and mountains

In the caves and underground

Far beyond my reach


It was raining agony… that day

Restless… agitated… weighed down

Haunted by my nightmare

You’re never coming home


Looking up… into sky

Yelling for help

While the soul murmurs

Here I am God… exhausted… give me your hand… come to my aid

Here I am God… full of sorrow… and anguish…ease my pain

Here I am God… hurt and tired… help me…hold me… heal me

Here I am God… lonely… be my friend and companion

Here I am God… lost… guide me… show me the way


And like a dazzling morning at the crack of dawn dispelling all darkness

Like gentle rain drops drizzling over a parched piece of land

Like a rainbow flowing piercing through thick murky clouds

Like sweet scent of love drifting capturing your heart

Like a velvet ruby rose blooming right before your eyes

Like a soft warm blanket in a cold winter night

Like a tender mother’s hand stroking her child

I felt

God’s loving-hand



Then this sweet… sweet comfort

Gently overwhelming

Lovingly embracing

Tenderly holding

Magically transforming

That distressed soul

And troubled heart


And in this land of sorrow


Pain is overthrown and Passion regains again

And sweet… sweet comfort falls down as rain

Calm descends

Serenity prevails

Tranquillity enfolds

Joy blooms

And sweet… sweet comfort falls down as rain


18- 09-2006

There are no “Islamic terrorists” in the Middle East

Fighting The International Tyranny Of "We the People"

There are no "Islamic terrorists" in the Middle East.
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Researcher Says Israel Responsible for at least 97.8 Percent of
 Serious Human Rights Abuses in Conflict

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